Is It Ok To Have A Relationship With Someone 10 Yrs Older Than You? ?
This guy and I were friends for a long time.I used to call him
“big brother”. When his ex gf broke up with him, I was there to comfort him and to listen to him. Even before they broke up, he has opened up to me about their problematic relationship. (my whole intention was to be there for him because he needed someone to listen)
As time went by, we became best friends.
He later on admitted that he has fallen in love with me.
I was really shocked about it because I never saw it coming because he was just a “big brother” to me. I began to like him after what he did.
However, he doesn’t know what I feel for him because I’m not certain if things will turn out fine.
there are a lot of factors to consider:
his ex gf is a friend of mine
my parents are against it
he is 10 years older than me
im a first yr univ student, still in the stage of deciding which career should i pursue
our friends doesn’t have any idea about our special friendship
everyone knows i call him “big brother”
after telling my parents about him, they were completely against it.
They told me to stop seeing him and I did so.
I haven’t seen hm for 2 months now and I realized how much he means to me. We still IM each other though. We treated each other as best friends and we went out several times but we never talked about our status. He has been really supportive with everythnig I do and I feel guilty of not telling him the truth of how I feel.
I do not want to disappoint my parents. They have big expectations for me. I never had a bf before and I realized that it is such a wonderful feeling to have someone like your best friend fall in love with you because you know each other well. I never felt so happy and I know it sounds corny. He really treats me well. Like he carried my bag for me, brought me breakfast, gave his jacket when it was cold, drove me home, drove me to school and etc… He has done a lot.
Im 20 and he is turning 30
(im still a 1st yr univ student because I had to go back for a few yrs in high school when we immigrated here in Canada)
I think it’s a little too much of a gap at your ages. I go by the formula (from somewhere, source anyone?) take the older person’s age and divide by 2 then add 7 and that is the youngest the younger partner should be.
age is only a number.. as long as you are an adult not a minor it’s ok the fact that you ask if it’s ok maybe the result that you are not comfortable with the difference..yourself.. step back and ask yourself and if your not comfortable with it then end it now or you will keep feeling this way hurting him as well as yourself
I’m a 29 year old woman and I’m currently trying to figure out how to date a 20 year old guy. I don’t really care what other people think. I like him and that is all that matters to me. I don’t see what the big deal is, whatever makes you happy.
You said it yourself, he’s your best friend. That’s the best place to start a lasting relationship. Go for it. You’re a big girl, mom & dad will get over it.
age doesnt mean anything and who cares what others think if he makes you happy go out with him before he finds another girl then you will be sad.go for it.
I say because of age
date 5 year with him
first before making
serious plan
Need time to be
absolutely sure
Jack
As long as you keep your priorities straight there is no reason not to pursue it.
Have fun…
my friend had the same prob blem, and Ill tell you the same thing I told her… ou cant pick who you like… act on your gut
if your both consenting adults then theres nothing legally you’re parents can do.
i just turned 17 and my fiance is turning 28 next week… nothing wrong with it if your happy
Completely your decision. But I don’t see a problem with the age.
Yes. Only if one happens to be a minor is not OK. Otherwise, go for it.
10 years really isn’t a big age difference. I would still see him.
Go for it!
it is ok! go for it!
finish school first..if he still loves you he’ll wait..
i believe in parents Not dictating our lives..freedom is ours
There is a 6 year age diff between me and my older significant other and a 10 year gap between his parents. The age barrier gets smaller and smaller as you get older, so the age should not be a factor, as far as 1st year uni goes, I met mt partner while I was in uni and he had already graduated, its completely up to you but if you like him go for it. Older guys are generally better in many ways (security, job, etc)
I’m in a somewhat similar situation… but i have the law against me. (17 with a crush on a 26 year old >.< )
It happens 
But my advice to you is that you’re 20, nobody has any legal control over what you do. You can legally date whoever you want.
The problem is, would your family do something extreme and ‘disown’ you? Or do you think they’d just not like it and maybe eventually just learn to deal with it?
Thent there’s the issue of you never having dated before, it’s every girls dream to marry their first love… but the chances are against you… would you want to risk potentially ruining your friendship?
All in all, i think you should do what YOU want, not what anyone else wants. You could have a fairy tale life
A 10 year age difference at the age you’re at is a difficult one. You are at such different points in your lives. It’s not to say it’s a bad thing, just a very difficult one. I know it’s hard to believe but you will grow into such a different person with different goals and expectations in the next few years. He may already have gone through that stage. Switching sides here… My husband and I are 10 years apart but we were 28 and 38 when we met. It doesn’t sound like a big difference but it is. We were both already settled in the careers we wanted and had completed our university studies. Why exactly are your parents against it? Have they given a reason that you ought to consider? Is he and are they willing to give it a chance if he comes to the house for dinner or does something with the family? If he is willing to do that maybe your parents would feel more comfortable and feel that you are respecting them.
Im 20 and my boyfriend is 33. It is hard at time because of the age difference and our interests are different. My parents weren’t ok with it in the beginning but after they met him and got to know him they think hes great.
Its really up to what you want and what makes you happy. But its always hard to please yourself and others as well.
Just make sure you don’t give up what you want for him.
Im 44 my guy of going on 5 years is 22. You parents need to get over it. If he is good to you thats all they should care about. If you are going to make it work you cannot let what others say get to you. It is YOUR life enjoy and experience it!
I don’t see a problem with the age difference. What I am concerned about is him falling in love with you when you were there to comfort him. It also concerns me that you have never had a boyfriend… I say if you want to go out with him, do it, but don’t start thinking marriage! Just have fun and date. You are still very young…
Well love has no age limit… but it’s up to you to decide which is more important to you, taking a chance by being with someone you love or letting your parents decide that for you… My ex and i were 8 years apart and my parents were so against it but i told them how much he meant to me and i went against their wishes to be with him. my parents soon learned to respect my decisions and they became supportive with it. Besides you’re 20, show your parents that you can take care of yourself like they always hoped you would be able to :O)
Go for it ! your old enough to make your own decisions , your parents can’t make them all for you . Plus you have to take some chances in life or you will never know what could have been . If I went by what my parents thought of my man I wouldn’t be going on five years of marriage to my hubby . The girl will have to get over it and move on , he obviously feels comfortable with you . GOOD LUCK !
As you can see from all your answers if you don’t tell your real feelings because of your parents you are making a huge mistake my husband is 31 and i am 25 and he is amazing!!!!we have been together for eight years and have two beautiful children and own a house together. He is an amazing husband and an amazing father. The guy that you are mentioning sounds like he is a good guy and you know those are hard to find. I was going to school at first too but i had no clue what i wanted to do and i ended up getting pregnant and i don’t regret it at all. when my kids get older i will pursue that again. And i know alot of people are opposed to that but i am perfectly happy with how my life played out because i love my life! So there is my corny answer
There’s not going to be alot of people that make you have that feeling inside.
You’re an adult so make you’re own decisions and forget about what you’re parents think! If you love him with all you’re heart, then go see him now, tell him you love him back, and start being happy together
! You don’t find love like this often so jump on this chance while you can before it’s too late and he starts looking around else where! As for the age thing, those are just numbers! My mom has been dating a guy younger than her(same in age difference as you)and this year will mark their 7th year together! So age really don’t matter believe me!
I have to say there is nothing wrong with it. I am 21 years old and my boyfriend of 4 years is going to be 34 this coming March. My parent absolutely adore him though and his family treats me like one of there on. I completely agree with you and it is one very big point to consider. My boyfriend has lived 12 years longer than I have. He has expereicned things that i am still learning about. *No I’m not being perverted* But he will be someone you can turn to when you need answers about things that your going threw. he will be someone who can help guide you threw college, picking a career. Stuff like that.